Once again I find myself sitting across the table from my husband (reminds me of this time not long ago). His pen is poised in mid-air, his brow is wrinkled as he thinks. Every now and then he sighs heavily and looks at me, trying his best to smile. I watch as he tries to think of the right words. I look up stuff on my laptop when he asks. I've made copies of diplomas and discharge papers and social security cards and anything else that might pop up. And all I can think is, Please, Lord. Let this be the one.
Have you guessed it yet?
Another job application.
He's not afraid of anything. The only thing that worries him is his age. Not gettin' any younger, he says. Maybe not, but you sure are getting better, I reply. That makes him smile for real. Is there any man that doesn't want to be the stud-kinda-hero to his wife? He's talking to a friend of his now on the phone. A good guy he wants to use as a reference. He won't write anybody's name down who he doesn't call to let them know. This is probably about the fourth time he's called this particular guy. I can almost hear the questions the other guy is asking.
How ya doing anyway?
Not too bad.
No luck with a job yet?
No, but I'm still looking.
You holding up okay, though?
Heck, yeah. I've lost weight and my blood pressure is down.
That's the truth, too. Since he got out of that cubicle, he's lost a good fifteen pounds or so and may very well be off his blood pressure meds within the next month. He's less stressed, honestly does smile more... just that absence of a steady paycheck that's the kicker.
His phone call is over.
His pen is back in hand.
Hey, honey? Find me Bob's phone number, will ya?
Please, Lord. Let this be the one.
2 comments:
Experiencing the same thing here. That 'absence of a steady paycheck' makes it tough, though. Hang in there. Maybe this will be the one. My fingers are crossed.
Cliff was in his fifties when he ended up unemployed for several months. Then he took a job he hated, worked that as long as he could stand it, and quit. That's when he took classes and got his GED and got the job he just retired from. Looking back, those times brought us closer. It helped that our kids were grown. I kept saying, "I see the light at the end of the tunnel" after he got his good job, but it took us at least a year to really catch up and get THROUGH the tunnel.
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