Sleep On That

So I can tell it's going to be one of those nights. A night if I don't talk, I won't sleep, and by talking... I mean writing. It is, after all, how we non-talkative people survive, We want to talk when there's no one around to hear us talk or maybe, just maybe, we use that as an excuse because we really don't want to run the risk of someone actually talking back.

Yes. I am exhausting myself.

I am drowning in a sea of negativity.
Overwhelmed by constant whining.
And totally taken under by complaining.

Grown-ups can be so annoying.

What ever happened to finishing well? Doing our best? Putting others before ourselves? I'm reminded of a song I use to sing with a 4th - 6th grade class: JOY.

Jesus and
Others and
You.

When will we ever learn that when we put ourselves first, it is always going to fall short. I don't know how to put this mildly... it rather stinks. There's a stench in the air when we try to take center stage. Period. The last time I checked, it wasn't suppose to be about us.

I know, I know. This particular post probably has its own stench about it. My mind has just been flooded the last few days. Flooded with memories. Flooded with reminders. Flooded with lessons learned when I forgot that it wasn't all about me. I despise seeing others struggle with the same thing, especially when they don't even recognize struggle.

ADULTS, haughty with their nose in the air, convinced that there is no authority over them. KIDS, indignant to authority because they are imitating those same adults in their life.

Rebellion runs rampant and the good people of the world shake their head and wonder why (slight hint of sarcasm there). As a wise man once said, "When kids are out of control, they are in control." That statement ought to stop a few of us in our tracks.

I was reminded today of a couple of scriptures:

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17.
As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. Proverbs 27:19.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin. Proverbs 18:24.

I could keep going. Proverbs, after all, has a lot going on. I suppose my point- scratch that- HIS point has been made. We need to be careful. Our actions matter. CHARACTER MATTERS. Nobody buys your baloney when the stink from the rind runs them off.

Or something like that.

Finish WELL, people. Put Jesus first. Imitate HIM. Put others second. SERVE them. Put yourself last...

And bask in the gratefulness.

God is good.

I am thankful for Him, my family, my country, my friends, and my job.

I pray the lessons I have learned, I will never forget.




Now, I can sleep.

Life's Too Short To Use A Dull Pencil

That thought occurred to me today when I was reaching for a... well, a pencil.

I love pencils. Real pencils. Dixon Ticonderoga pencils. I've got an assortment of pencils in a wide selection of colors in varying stages of pencil life (some at the two-sharpening stage; some at the twenty-sharpening stage with little life left to live). I'm also a big fan of erasers- the colorful kind that go on the end of a pencil, but we'll save that entertaining story for another day.

I know. You really can't wait.

So anyway, I reached for a pencil and started to do my thing when I found the result was not quite what I wanted (and really, all I was doing was recording a lunch count, but I'm a big believer in doing everything with pride). I set that one aside and reached for another pencil that sported a nice, sharp tip. With a sigh of satisfaction as the first few strokes of the lead (okay, graphite) were made, a rather unique thought popped into my head. So unique, at least to me, that I grabbed my handy pad of post-it notes and jotted it down. All day long that same note stared me in the face.

Life's too short to use a dull pencil.

Maybe it's the same thing. Maybe it's totally off. But as my day was winding down and the minutes ticked away to the four o'clock hour and I stared at that post-it note before me, Proverbs 27:17 scrolled through my head. I thought about the sharp lead (graphite!) of my pencils and how clean and crisp of a line they leave behind. I thought about the dull lead (you get the idea) of my other pencils and the fuzzy and unremarkable lines that are left in their wake.

And I'll stop here to say if you haven't used a pencil in a long time, take a ride on the wild side and try it old school style. You might need a little refresher course and a detour from the electronic life to catch up with where I'm going.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Or check out the Amplified version:

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].

What kind of relationships do you have? Are they the kind that sharpen your faith, or are they the kind that dull your senses to things of the Lord? Does your anger leave a scowl on the faces of those around you? Do people breathe a sigh of relief when you leave the room, or do you leave behind something worthy, something to think about, something purposeful?

I know some of you think I put entirely too much stock into the tip of a pencil. I wouldn't argue with you there. But I will challenge you with this one last thought,

I'd much rather be a sharp point than a dull one.

How about you?

Breathing Life To Dried-Up Bones

A joyful heart is good medicine, 

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. 

Proverbs 17:22

I came home grumpy. Irritated.
Wanting to pop something with a BB gun.

And that's the mild version.

The husband put up with me for a while before he asked ,

What in the world is wrong with you?

I said I just wanted to hear some good news. Did he have any?

He had none. This is his week of no work. No work equals no pay. No pay presents unique challenges to paying the bills. Challenges to paying the bills creates a treasure hunt of sorts for things to sell on craigslist.

It's never a dull moment around here.

So anyway, he listened and more importantly, he understood my mood. We fired up the grill, made supper, and fed the kids. It was around that time that my phone rang. It was my dad.

We talked. He told me stories. I laughed. It was exactly what I needed. I repeated the same stories to the husband who (strangely enough) didn't laugh near as much as I did. He washed dishes. I dried. He asked me if I was all right. I looked him in the eye and said yes.

Somehow, in the midst of that unexpected laughter, I found hope.
In hope, I found peace. And in that peace, I found rest.

God's not finished with us yet.

My Shoes Are Muddy

I read Proverbs every day- well, most every day, and usually a verse reaches out and grabs me. Sometimes it might be a favorite one that I just like to reread and sometimes it might be one I've never paid much attention to before. Today there has been one that just won't leave me alone.

When you walk, your steps shall not be hampered [your path will be clear and open];
and when you run, you shall not stumble. Proverbs 4:12

I experienced another (minor) setback today and dwelling on that here would not change a thing. I tried to talk to the Lord about it and all I could come up with were words to a song: You are God in Heaven and I am here on earth, so I'll let my words be few. I mean really... who am I to complain when things don't follow my plan?

And just what exactly is my plan? Does it line up with His?
Am I just killing time until HE catches up with ME?

Deep thoughts, people, for a Thursday night.

It does seems like, for quite some time, my life has been the exact opposite of that verse. My steps are hampered. The path is muddy. I stumble over every branch in the road. Does that mean I've taken a wrong turn? Did I read the map wrong? Has the GPS failed me once again?

GPS= Global Positioning System

or

GPS= God Positioning System

If I'm on the global circuit, there's an easy explanation. I've had our own GPS take me down a wrong road one too many times. If I'm on the God track... well, He's certainly not the one out of whack.

Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright. Proverbs 4:26

Keeping The Foolish Out Of My Writing

A few days ago I wrote a somewhat poignant entry regarding the many, many thankful (facebook) updates I have been scrolling through- it was Day 16 at that point. I thought better of what I had written (like I usually do) and decided the wisest thing to do would be to not publish it. There is, afterall, a proverb for this very thing:

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. Proverbs 18:2

I write alot of things that never make it to the publishing button. I've been asked on numerous occasions to write a book (something my ego loves), but I never get far with it. What in the world would I write about? I've tried fiction- love to read it, hate to write it. I can't keep the characters straight and I'm bored with myself by the second chapter. I've tried non-fiction, too, but there is nothing out there that fascinates me enough that I would want to devote a book to it... that's why I go to a library. So what does that leave? An auto-biographical book-of-my-opinions type of thing. I'm pretty sure that publication would rest dead in the water.

I did write a short book years ago entitled Proverbs 31 for the Real Woman (or something like that). I never knew what to do with it, though, and have since noticed that that theme is severely overused anyway. Actually, that particular manila envelope full of typed pages is kind of fun for me to read now. I was a fairly new wife and mom when I wrote it and full-to-the-brim of that funny thing called hope. Oh, I still have hope (I wouldn't be here if I didn't), but my hope today is edged with a whole lot of truth,  I guess. I have my faith, but believe me... if I were to write that thing now, I am certain it would read differently.

Hey. There's an idea. Maybe I should do that. It could be sort of a before and after thing.
Before the end of your twenties. After the reality of your forties. Marriage. Kids. Daily wrinkle cream.

But then again, I wouldn't want to scare the young people.

A Sunday At Home

It's another Sunday morning that we are not going to make it to church. Some weeks are just like that. Today the youngest comes back from a 3-day camping trip and it's about time. I'm about to say something that will thrill her to pieces.

The house has been way too quiet.

I mentioned to my dad yesterday that as the kids get older, it's becoming a thing of importance when all three of them are home at the same time (the evenings, anyway). The oldest has his friends and dirtbikes and junk yards, the middle has his own friends and a longboard that takes him literally all over the place, and the youngest has her ever-expanding circle of that thing called a social life. I am using the allure of the grill to get them all in one place tonight, friends and all. The husband and I need an extra body or two at the dinner table.

So no church for me today. I'm going to honor the Lord just by being a wife and a mom and providing for my household. I happen to think He'll be rather pleased.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
   diligent in homemaking.

~taken from Proverbs 31, The Message.

A Proverbs A Day

Proverbs 16:6:  By mercy and love, truth and fidelity (to God and man- not by sacrificial offerings), inquity is purged out of the heart, and by the reverent, worshipful fear of the Lord men depart from and avoid evil. 

Sometimes I think I can get away with something or it's not that big of deal or the Lord won't mind. I go through with whatever it is thinking that way and go to bed still thinking that way. In other words, I lie to myself and/or listen to the author of lies and do a pretty darn good job convincing myself that I know what I'm doing. Then I wake up and He is there.

Gentle.
Caring.
Questioning.

Do you really think this is gonna work?

Now we're not talking anything major here, at least not by the world's standards. No murder. No adultery. No thievery taking place. Just a mind game of sorts. Things I want to read. Things I'd like to watch. Things that will choke His presence out if I give it half a chance. Things that bother me and yet tempt me all at the same time.

I sat down to read my Bible this morning even though I didn't want to, and I didn't want to because I knew as soon as I did I would have to give up something I just paid ten bucks for. Look, we all have our convictions, right? No matter who agrees with whom or who thinks the other person is a little over the top, we all have things that bother us on a sub-conscious level... within our spirit, I guess you could say. My convictions won't necessarily agree with yours. I suppose it all depends on who we are and where we are and how we got there.

Anyway, I read a few verses and even as I was reading, the Lord was dealing with me. I laughed to myself as I made a mental decision and I'm certain He was laughing along with me. I got up to put a physical action to that decision and felt a weight lifted from within me. That was that. Sometimes you just know you have to act quickly because if you don't, that weight can become harder and harder to cast off. At least that's how it is with me, but then again, I am anything but normal.

I am me.

And He's good with that.



About Me

I (Wisdom from God) love those who love me,
and those who seek me early and diligently

SHALL FIND ME.

 Proverbs 8:17

For the record, I don't get most things right. I get mad when someone rolls their eyes at what I've fixed for dinner. I have never been able to cut hair straight. I don't understand algebra. I grow weary about pushing kids to do well in school. Just get that diploma! My chocolate chip cookies always turn out flat.

 

 

Hear instruction and be wise, and

DO NOT REFUSE OR NEGLECT IT.

Proverbs 8:33

 

Then there are some things I know I do right. I keep a clean house. I know how to roll socks and tri-fold underwear to satisfy my military husband's idea of a proper dresser drawer (and no, I'm not joking but that is a joke that will take us well into our old-age years). I can bake one delicious Hershey's chocolate cake.

For whoever finds me (Wisdom)

finds life and draws forth and obtains

FAVOR FROM THE LORD.

Proverbs 8:35

I like to think I'm a good listener, but my youngest will tell you I'm not. I'd like to tell you I'm not judgmental, but the middle would challenge that one. I can pretend to know what's wrong with the computer and the oldest will set me straight. I think I've got God figured out and He laughs right along with me.

The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord

is the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom,

and the knowledge of the Holy One is

INSIGHT AND UNDERSTANDING.

Proverbs 9:10



The only time I'm me is when I'm with Him.

That's when you see the real me, the way He intended.

Uneven hair and all.



 

Proverbs, Scrapbooks, and Accidents

(a proverb a day!)

Lesson One When the morning leaves you frazzled and you're faced with the dilemma of either throwing a full-out tantrum or crawling back in bed to wish away the day, spend ten (and set a timer for that TEN) minutes with the Lord. Everything looks different after that.

(five mini-scrapbooks to make!)

Lesson Two When you use the instant picture thingamajig at Wal-Mart to print pictures for the Christmas scrapbooks you've been putting off, stick to the online way of doing things. I could've saved ten bucks printing ninety pics. Ten bucks equals two Starbucks and a cookie (at least the way I do the math).

(pre-hair cut look!)

Lesson Three When the oldest tells you of an accident that happened in his machine tool class, do not panic. Be thankful that he wasn't involved, pray for the kid who was, and hope everybody learned a lesson about machine shop safety. Accidents happen.

Dancing with a Plan

If it's Monday night at our house, then it's Dancing with the Stars. As far as my girl is concerned, all life stops with the opening number. Tomorrow night will be no different due to the results show. Since we haven't had anything but antenna television since something like 1994, nobody really complains because quite frankly, nothing else is on.

I was never really a fan of this show because of the sometimes scantily-dressed women and two teenage boys in the house. I've got into it this season for some reason (probably because the channel gets changed right after Andy Griffith). Also, if the dances get a little to, well... let's just say suggestive, I've got a daughter that will turn the tv off until she thinks that number has ended. "Gotta think about the boys, Mom." Yeah, I've trained her well.

Those kids of mine are in seventh heaven tonight anyway. No school tomorrow. Why? I have no idea. Election day, I suppose. Last year was their first year of public school and we're still trying to figure everything out. Some things I like and somethings I don't. God's got a plan, though. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

That plan is what brought us to where we are now. Kind of like public school, some things I like and some things I don't. I like that our oldest boy is excelling in a course that would have never been offered where we were. He's probably the main reason we are staying put. Well, he is the reason. How do you pull a kid from something he is good at? You don't, in our opinion. That's a good thing.

God's got a plan. That's been my theme of the day; the theme of my life. "Many are the plans in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand," Proverbs 19:21. I have given up trying to understand it. I no longer act like I even have a clue how it's all suppose to work out. It's His plan, not mine.

I am momentarily distracted by the "Bust A Move" routine. My girl about falls off the couch laughing when I tell her, "Boy, I'd like to be doing that."  Must be the visual of her mom in split-up-to-thighs pants busting a move across the dance floor. I'm pretty sure God's plan for me doesn't include that.

But wouldn't it be funny if it did? Stranger things have happened. I've got a southern accent that proves that.

 

Just What I Needed

After having just returned from an overwhelming experience at a high school open house, peace is a notion that is just out of my reach. What book can I compare this to? I honestly have no idea. The funny thing is my kids are just fine. They maneuvered the halls effortlessly, dodged oncoming pedestrian traffic with a few quick moves, and even pointed out the "bathrooms of choice" due to the availability of actual doors on the stalls. I just keep thinking, "What on earth are we doing here?"

You see, none of this was in my plan. I had everything figured out a long time ago... a home that I loved,  family just a few blocks away, a job that I never thought possible. One stoplight was plenty for me and the convenience of completing all my errands with just a walk around town? Priceless. The kids were thriving in a small, Christian school and their biggest problem (as I can recall) was a missing belt buckle at school. Now it's i-pods being swiped, shoves here and there, and teachers saying things like, "Stuff is gonna get stolen. Get use to it. Get a lock." And I won't even get started on the traffic situation. Good grief. What have we done?

Thankfully, a book has come to mind. For several years I read one chapter in it every day. In fact, when this great adventure that will forever be known as The Move came about, I began the habit of carrying a white handkerchief in my purse. When those overwhelming feelings would threaten to consume me (kinda like tonight), I would raise that white "flag" in surrender and think on that one verse from that one book that will forever be etched on my heart: "Many are the plans that are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

Oh, and here's another one: "What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!" Psalm 27:13

Guess I had a book in mind after all.