The Blame Game Lands Squarely On Me

Someone's been rereading my blog.

Mom?

I haven't posted anything for a while... not much to say, I suppose. As a matter of fact, I haven't done much of anything to, as they say, expand my mind.

I blame Netflix.

Before Netflix and the smartphone, my evening consisted of books. I was never much of television watcher- antenna-only at our house, so I typically would hit the power button after the news and settle in with whatever latest book I was reading. My book collection depended on what the library had to offer and I always had a stack nearby.

Wait.

I blame the Nook.

After I purchased my first Barnes & Noble Nook, with much excitement, I might add, the library became one of those places that I use to visit. I could read entire series without any interruption via middle-of-the-night online purchases. I could carry a hundred books with me anywhere I went in the slim work-of-wonder that fit into my pocketbook. I really did read at red lights.

But then again,

The Nook was not just for reading. Through the magic of wi-fi, I could skip through the land of Facebook or read emails that never told me anything of importance or play that funky word game with the yellow tiles and letters. I could watch movies (drat that Netflix) or laugh at stupidity (youtube anyone?) and successfully whittle away hours of my life.

So it's the Wi-Fi's fault.

Well, there might be some truth to that. Before wi-fi, I was tied to a desktop if I wanted to venture anywhere on the world wide web. Sure, I might be up and down a lot, but at least I managed to get something done. Nowadays I feel like I do a lot of everything without accomplishing a thing. I play along with that "super busy" thing while growing numb to the glow from the light of LEDs.

That blasted phone.

I mean, seriously, When did the phone become a fifth limb? Yes, the thing is SMART. I have used Google Maps to direct me more than once. Shopping for bargains is a piece of cake. Bored while waiting at the dentist? Skip those "How to Care for Your Teeth" brochures and zone out in the land of Pinterest. I just can't stop there, though.

I take my phone to bed. I've been know to take it to the bathroom.

Although, now that I think about it, I remember a house we use to live in that had an actual wall phone located conveniently in the bathroom. That feature was beyond cool. I could bathe the kids while gossiping with a friend and never have to leave the room.

Yeah. That's a way to stay focused.

As I write this, I am disappointed in myself. I love to read. I hate fads.
And yet, I have given up a true love for what everyone else is doing.

I am so not impressed.

Something is going to have to change.

And it's going to start tonight with an actual BOOK.

In A World Of Wi-Fi

Between trying to figure out this blasted Windows 8 and Office365, I am nearing the edge of pure madness. I do not handle change well.

Wait.

Let me rephrase that...
I do not handle unnecessary change well.

There is a difference.

I have papers to write, deadlines to meet, and a headache from all the nonsense my computer screen is throwing at me. Seriously. Can't we all just get along? I mean, I know my laptop can't hear me, but my pleas for mercy overflow nonetheless. {Sigh}. It doesn't matter. My cries fall on deaf ears, or keyboard as it would be, and I find myself wandering into the ever-comforting glow of the blog neighborhood.

Now this I understand.

The husband looks at me from time to time and smiles. Poor guy. He thinks I am working away when really I am just sitting here thinking about that stupid car commercial we watched earlier. You might have seen it. A Chevy and a Ford are compared (imagine that) with one having the wonders of wi-fi and smiling kids zoned out on tablets and smiling parents high on the silence. The flipside of this is the less fortunate having to deal with no wi-fi on the road and less than quiet kids. I suppose the message is the virtual world is a happy world.

As the commercial faded out and the gloom of the world came back on in the form of the six o'clock news, the husband made what I considered to be a very profound statement,

"I'm glad we never had any of that and our kids learned how to talk with us."

I thought about that as we sat in silence. I can remember having three little kids crammed into a vehicle and wishing beyond wishing that we had those new-fangled  DVD systems for the car. We knew others that did and they all raved about the peace and quiet such systems brought to any excursion, no matter how long or short. Once, for a brief period and for a reason I can't recall, we borrowed some kind of contraption for a road trip. I can't really say if we liked it or not... that's one of those memories that have faded along with the pitter-patter of little feet. The point is, I suppose, is that instead of logging out of life and signing into the constant glow of a computer screen, our kids ultimately had nothing better to do than to talk to us.

Sometimes loud.
Sometimes whiny.

But always real.

Today we have three young adults who, oddly enough, seem to actually enjoy conversations with us old folks. Maybe it has to do with all those books we read to them as kids. Maybe it something with all those meals we ate around a table.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because we could never afford all that entertainment stuff and were forced to acknowledge life head on and not muffle it through the foam and cords of headphones. A stretch, I'm sure, but something to think about, I'm certain. If nothing else, it took my mind off my own reality if even for a short time.

Now,

Back to my own problems.
Your prayers are appreciated.

Image provided by keyword "Windows 8 Nightmare." Thanks, frustrated user. I can totally relate.

Facebook and Other Worthless News

My blogging machine seems to have run out of steam. I'm beginning to think that the whole thing was necessary to get me through those workless years. Now that I'm back to full-time, I might have more to write about, but also a whole lot more people to offend. It just doesn't seem worth it.

Speaking of offending people, I shut down my facebook account and started a new one. My previous account just had too many issues that the faceless facebook people were not being of much help to fix. The final straw was a rather lengthy form they had me fill out detailing all the glitches I was experiencing. When I hit submit, a new window opened informing me not to expect any help or a reply... my information would simply be used for future facebook improvements.

Yeah. A lot of good that did me in the present.

I think I'm ready to join the husband and venture off the grid.

So Much Cooler Online

I have spent the better part of this morning reading blogs from all kinds of women (rarely men) from all parts of the country. Some make me laugh. Some make me hungry. A few inspire me to do something crafty and a few cause me to shake my head in disbelief. One thing they all have in common, though, is they all entertain the heck out of me.

I love people. No, I am not a people-person and I have not momentarily lost my mind, but I really do love people. Real people. The people who admit their faults and laugh at their mistakes. People who know they're not perfect and aren't afraid to tell you about it.

It all makes me feel unusually normal.

Blogs are not like facebook or twitter. For instance, on either one of those you might find some random, attention-seeking post like,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE!!

On a blog, you'll get that story in detail. In fact, if you've read any particular blog long enough, you start to feel like you actually know the people. You (or at least I do) will find yourself nodding in agreement with the shenanigans surrounding everyday people in everyday life.

On a blog, you won't just find a picture of half-eaten food on a obvious restaurant-style plate (those photos have always driven me insane)- you'll get a story about why that particular dish is picture-worthy. You won't get a series of "check-ins" or "self-portraits". You really only get what that particular writer feels is worth taking the time to write and let's face it, your daily stop at the gas station  or your boobs peeking out from your new lace cami is probably not gonna top the list of important things to write about on any given day.

Whoops. I did it again... caused another pair of eyes to roll heavenward. I can almost hear the fury of clicks as people scurry away from what I deem worthy to publish to the virtual screen. I'm probably just jealous. I can't check-in at the gas station or take fitting-room pics with my stylin' pink, Pantech dumbphone. Otherwise I would probably join the masses- though I seriously doubt it.

The moral of today's front porch story? Don't judge other bloggers based on me. Scroll around. You're sure to find someone who shares your interests. Blogs are a lot of fun. They're real. And hey, if you don't like 'em, just move on the next one.

I've lost lots of readers that way. =)

I Know It's Not Easter, But...

This is a testimony of new life.

Because I posted the following obituary (click on the title below to read) back in December,

The "My Laptop Is Dead" Story

I thought I would bring forth the happy resurrection tale of that same laptop.
Read on if you have nothing better to do at the moment.

Photo Taken In The Glory Days of the Laptop Computer and What Appears To Be That Darn Class On Ancient Greece

To make a long story short, my frustration over the said laptop collecting dust in the corner got the better of me one day. Since I have been collecting a paycheck for the last few months, I announced that if nothing was going to be done about fixing the blasted thing, I was marching myself down to the local store and buying myself a new one. I kid you not when I say that within the hour, tools were brought out, the laptop dusted off, and pieces and parts and wires began to be carefully removed and examined on the living room floor. A little over a week later, I have a perfectly-functioning power button and internet-accessible computer. The only serious issue came up when the oldest asked me for my password yesterday... I had to think on that one for a bit and breathed a sigh of relief when we hit it right the first time.

All is well in the techno world.

Now I think I'll head outside for the real world.

So I Guess That Makes Me A Statistic

45% of people admitted that they use phone calls, text messages, tweets and emails

 to communicate rather than going into the next room to talk to other members of the household. 

How do you promote good communication with your family?

The preceding was a facebook post from a local Christian radio station that I listen to on an (almost) daily basis. I had a few immediate comments:

What? You mean there's something wrong with that?

-or-

You make it sound like that's a bad thing. Some days I really AM that tired.

I ended up not responding with either one and instead headed over to blog land. I suppose that here I can be myself and not wonder what others might think (which is weird because obviously, you... the readers... are considered others right now.

Anyway.

Yes. I have resorted to the text message or the phone call or the facebook route to communicate with family members who are merely one uninsulated wall away from me. I've texted my kids goodnight from one bedroom to another and/or reminded them to do something or other via the virtual world. To me, that is no different from the original post-it note.

Granted, I also make it a point (much to their annoyance, I'm sure) to talk to them whether it's in the car on the way to school or by greeting them at the front door when they come home. I'm learning little by little how to navigate the teenage world (why is it so different from this end?) and I have little doubt that by the time I do figure it out, they'll no longer be teenagers.

The point is, I think any kind of communication is a good thing. Let's face it... we are in the electronic age. I learned how to text because of my kids. I'm on facebook because of my kids. If I ever end up on twitter, you can be sure that it will be because of my kids. I'm not their buddy. I'm not their friend. But I can sure learn a thing or two from them.

And hey, if that lets me stay in my warm, electronically-heated bed while I send them some random message of love or a reminder about the next day, then more power to the techno world.

Count me in on that forty-five percent.

Obituary Of A Laptop

It's been six months since my laptop was put out of commission due to an uncooperative power button, a sincere attempt to fix it that only made things worse, and lots of....  well, I'm gonna stop right there. No need going to into all the statements that have been made to look at it or fix it or get the parts ordered. If you read my last post, then you know that we, as a family, are getting along uncommonly well. I'll spare the names and promises to prolong the peace and good humor that currently exists in my home.

However.

If I had known that my beloved laptop would still be collecting dust while taking up space behind my bedroom door, I would have gladly paid the questionable computer-fixer-guy at the flea market his requested one hundred and twenty-five bucks to fix the darn thing back in July.

Then again, it is only a laptop. Maybe I shouldn't place so much stock in the crazy gadget. I mean, it's only holding prisoner a resume or two, pictures, family fun stuff, essays, power points, and a working version of Microsoft Office. It's really not important to anyone but me. Surely my patience should be greater.

I used to think things like When I start getting a regular paycheck, I will buy a couple of new pillows and some rugs for the kitchen and maybe some jeans for the kids and definitely stock up that freezer.

Now I think to myself,

When I start getting a regular paycheck,
IF we haven't had our internet service terminated,
And the lights and water are still connected,
Assuming the refrigerator still contains a gallon or two of milk...
THEN I will have that blasted laptop fixed.

And everyone said, Amen.

I'm In Love With A Tablet

Is it tacky to want to buy a gift for yourself? Not a new pair of shoes or a new dress, but a brand-spanking new $250 electronic gadget that would simply replace one you already have.

I'm in love with the Nook Tablet. Not the lesser memory version for $199 and not the Kindle Fire. I've researched, looked, and held. The tablet is for me.

The only one joining me on this cause is the youngest. She has my basic nook in her room so much anymore I can never use it when I want to anyway. In her eyes, it's a win-win situation.

I approached my husband last night during dinner. He didn't look impressed. I'm pretty sure I can change his mind, though. Or at least influence him in some way.

Just give me time. =)

How's That Working For You?

So the thought occurred to me that if I'm no longer on facebook, the access that I have to a couple of sweet little babies living far away from me will become severely limited. We just can't have that. I guess you can say I was four days clean. What can I say? I miss seeing my mom saying "Cheers" with her teacup. I miss seeing my brother holding up his now-too-big pants. And I miss catching little two-minute videos of those sweet little babies rolling over or trying to walk or just looking plain cute. Plus, my daughter said she missed seeing me on there. Enough said. I guess I'm not as done with the virtual world as I thought I was. Live and learn.

And don't post it publicly.

I Am A Former User

It's official! I have cut the facebook cord. I deactivated my profile, gave my kids a heads up that their own accounts were up for "search and seizure" at any given time, and removed that familiar blue f from my favorites tool bar. I honestly have no intention of going back. The only thing I will really miss is the ability to post these entries to facebook; I know a lot of my friends and family followed me that way. Oh well. I guess now we'll see if any of them liked me enough to track me down (and the answer there is probably not).

And like I often say, "That's that."

Facebook No More (Well... Maybe)

Here we go. The great facebook debate. To stay or not to stay. For the first time since I joined the site, I do believe I'm about done. I logged on this morning to see the status update of someone who is not on my friend list for good reason:

A). I have no clue who the person is, and
B). Vulgar language about male body parts is something I can do without.

Since facebook implemented their latest round of changes to the site, pretty much everyone is open game. It all has to do with mutual friends and status updates and comments and likes and all that, but the short of the story is, if I can view information about people that I am not personally linked to, then those same people can see mine. I have always been very particular about my friend list. I keep it at around 100 (this in a world where people have 300-500-1000! people on their list of friends). Yes, I've unfriended people who:

A). Never commented or updated anything anyway which for some reason annoys me, or
B). Used that aforementioned vulgar language about body parts or their mama or God.

I figured that was the point of having some sort of control. I immediately nixed the whole places feature that turns ordinary people into celebrities by allowing the paparazzi (aka their friend list) to follow their every move. That kind of thing is just not for me. I once "followed" a guy as he went from the library to the gym to Starbucks and finally back to his home. This is one of those guys who has friends in the 1000s and think about it, if I was following him via facebook (this was back in my farmville days... 198 days sober!), how many other people were also? He's got a beautiful home, a beautiful wife who stays home with beautiful kids, and a brand-new 52" flatscreen/LCD/HD3D (I have NO idea what I'm talking about here)... anyway, he's one of those people that will post everything about his life.

Does this make me sound like a stalker? I promise you I'm not, but with the information that some people put out there, I almost feel like one. I'm just a semi-bored housewife with no evil intention at all who just also happens to be very observant. Imagine if I really were looking to do something like steal your new tv or investigate your child custody case or raise your property taxes...

Yeah. Maybe I should go offline with facebook.
I may not have many friends left after this anyway.

My point is that there is so much information out there. Yes, I give my own pointless updates and post pointless pictures from time to time and just generally have a little fun with it all, but that control, my control, is slowly getting peeled away and I gotta tell you, I don't like it one bit. As I told one other person earlier this morning, the whole thing is starting to get a little creepy. I know there are people out there, good people, who could care less about the whole privacy issue. That's just not me. I didn't have a high security clearance for nothing, you know.

I'm a private person (who also happens to write a public blog).
Yes. I do see the irony there.

So what happens to a facebook user who leaves the arena? Is there withdrawal? You know, the farmville reference earlier was just a joke (I really haven't counted the number of days since I last plowed or harvested or whatever), but I did discover more time once I stopped.  Maybe I won't miss it at all.

Or maybe I won't go anywhere.
Are there really more changes in store?
Am I jumping ship too early?

I never had this problem in the pre-facebook world.

Virtual Death

I spent my wee morning hours contemplating virtual suicide. You know, the kind where you completely walk away from the virtual world. No more facebook. Business email only. End of the blog era. I wondered if anyone would notice and I wondered if I would even care. Then, in the midst of the mental note that I was writing to leave behind, my husband walked in the bedroom bearing gifts of eggs, toast, coffee, and a smile. My first thought as he left me with my treasures and walked back out the door?

I need to update my facebook status.
Apparently my virtual demise would not have lasted for long.
Guess I'll be sticking around for a while.

I suffered through yet another job rejection yesterday. I know that some of you might be thinking, What is wrong with this girl that she can't seem to land a job? Trust me, I've thought the same thing. I've had people look over my resume. I'm all about constructive criticism. I think the problem is just that I am one of many in a flooded unemployment state. The latest no thank you reply cited the fact that I don't have enough framed certificates on my ego wall; in other words, I lack the required education. Looks like I have entered the realm where experience counts for nothing. My response was probably a bit immature, but it made me feel better nonetheless. I simply presented my opinion regarding the reason for being passed by and wished them well. I am tired of nodding my head politely and walking away.

Anyway, yesterday's events were the reason, I'm sure, for my lousy mood and the subsequent breakfast-in-bed episode this morning. I gotta admit, it's very hard to lay around and feel sorry for yourself when you've got a husband who is so darn nice. I ate his breakfast, took a shower, and greeted the kids (whom he also rolled out of bed early on a Saturday morning). I'm starting to think their day is not as great as mine. In fact, I know it's not. Their computer is acting up, we're out of toilet bowl cleaner, someone can't find their swimming shorts, and I'm suppose to have all the answers. Why, yes. It does make me laugh to myself. It's so nice to have them all home.

If I could just stay away from those job boards, I would probably be all right.
Maybe I should spend the energy instead on writing a book.
No framed diplomas needed for that.

Any suggestions?

Technology and Me

I am one of those people who swear I will never cave in to any type of new-fangled gadget. No matter what comes out or how it promises to make my life easier, I convince myself that simple is better and if it ain't broke, then don't replace it.

And then I always end up getting whatever it was I swore I would never get. Examples? Cell phone. Computer. Laptop. Nook. (And by the way, this is not top-of-the-line stuff, so save your crow bars and illegal entry methods for quality that would actually be worth the jail time and bullet wounds).

The cell phone I caved in pretty easy to when I began driving a distance from home to work. Having said that, though, I am seriously considering dropping all cell phone lines and hooking my husband up with a pay-as-you-go type plan. I never go anywhere anymore, a land line with unlimited local/long distance would cut about 60% off our phone bill, and yes... my oldest kid (who has a cell) and the youngest kid (who dreams of a cell) are twitching just a bit at Mom's newest plan to interfere with their social life. The middle, thank goodness, could really care less. Now let me mess with the wireless service in the house and he would protest loudly, rest assured.

Anyway, the computer and internet are here to stay. The kids do so much homework online that the price of gas alone (if I had to shuttle them back and forth to the library) more than convinces me that is one bill worth the cost and besides, I might start twitching if I didn't have access to the blog world or facebook. The laptop was a no-brainer because it effectively stopped me from yelling at the kids to get off the computer. Some things don't require much thought no matter how much I may have thought that I didn't need them.

(Yeah. That made a lot of sense).

The nook took awhile. I love to read. I love books. I love the smell of books. I was 175% against the lame-brain who thought to take away the feel of a book in my hands. Then one day certain aspects of the e-reader began to appeal to me... books purchased in an instant no matter what time of day or night (and cheaper at that); e-books available from the library with no fines for overdue material; easy to stow (and a whole lot more lighter) in my purse... yep, the more I thought about it the more the whole idea appealed to me. I love my nook. I still pick up cheap books at sales and such, and not every book is available in the e-book format from the library, but I am absolutely positively happy with my gadget.

Ahhhh, but allow me to tell you about my latest techno-purchase that was a belated anniversary gift. It's something that I have often said was crazy and lazy and just way-too-overpriced for me to ever think about getting one... and then I tried it, fell in love with it, and had to have it.

A Keurig coffee machine.
Ready in a minute.
Instantaneous satisfaction.

And it's cheaper than my beloved Starbucks Via.
Sometimes math is a good thing.
Especially when it's at Kohl's and you have a 30% off coupon.

I think I might want an i-pod next.
But never the i-pad.
That would be just plain crazy.