Surrender That Ship!

Well, we're gonna go ahead and knock a few things out of the way. I've got a stack of school work and lesson plans and bills to work my way through and anyone who properly knows me understands that the key to procrastination is taking care of things now that could be taken care of later.

Or something like that.

To even stand a chance of getting around to what really needs to be accomplished today, I must first take some virtual time to think about one of my new favorite quotes. Consider this,

When I meet a wind I cannot fight,

I can do naught but set my sails

To let it take me where it will.

That is taken from a book I've been reading called The Rose Garden. It's not a bad read, but I won't give it my full recommendation until I finish it. If it ends in a way that makes me want to throw my nook across the room, well... it will fall short from getting my five stars. That particular quote, however, caught my attention and made me pause what I was reading the other night to write it down. In the last thirty-six hours or so, I've been thinking about the truth and wisdom steeped in those words.

How many times have I fought that wind? How many times have I grown weary from struggling with the sails and fighting the current and cursing the direction it is taking me? How many times have I given up the fight, exhausted, after coming to the conclusion that there really is no fighting that kind of wind. The course before me has been set and no matter how hard I may try to steer it the other way, I only end up losing time and energy and find myself right back to that original course.

If that makes any sense at all.

Today I am thankful for the course that has been set especially for me. This thought brings to mind Psalm 139:16 (The Message):

Like an open book,

 You watched me grow from conception to birth;

All the stages of my life were spread out before You,

The days of my life prepared before
 I had even lived one day.

God has answered my prayers more than once in the midst of strong winds in which I have no control. He steers the ship with His very breath even while I doubt His direction. Without Him, I would have surely perished already by my own hand. No, that is not a suicidal thought... it's a factual statement. My ways and my thoughts and my plans would have already been my own demise. Do you get that? We were never meant to survive on our own. We were meant to follow the plans of a perfect Creator.

So anyway.

That's what has been on my mind and now that my peace has been said, I can move on to those other things like presentations and state standards and electric payments.

Then again,

It might not be a bad time to mop the kitchen floor.

Awkward Silence

I went to bed last night around midnight only to stare at the ceiling for the next five hours. During that time, I (mentally) wrote a (brilliant) blog post entitled Everything I Can Do You Can Do Better. It had just the right amount of humor mixed with just the right amount of truth to let you, the reader, know that I, like you, grow weary of people who always have done the exact same thing you have done, just with a little more drama involved.

It truly is exhausting.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which side of the fence you sit on), I was not motivated in the least to actually get out of bed to put my thoughts to print. Instead, I perfected the grammar, tweaked a few punch lines, and rolled over while congratulating myself on a job well done. As the darkness of the room took on the gray tones of dawn, I drifted off to sleep only to dream about tornadoes and death for the second night in a row.

It's been tough around here, people.


(this is where the awkward silence comes in)


I honestly have nothing else to say.
Nothing inspirational. Nothing witty.

It'll hit me around three in the morning.


Except for this,


For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
Neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts higher than your thoughts.

For as the rain and snow come down from the heavens,
And return not there again, but water the earth
And make it bring forth and sprout...

So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth:
It shall not return to Me void (without producing any effect)
But it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55: 8-11



I love it when He gets the last word. =)

You May Not Think This Is Pretty, But I Sure Feel Better

May I ramble on for a bit?

...and if you know me in the real-life-kind-of-way, please don't bother making a mental note to ask me tonight or tomorrow or the next day what in the world this is all about...

Just let me ramble.

~*~*~Sheesh.  I've already deleted what I thought I wanted to write at least three times.~*~*

Let me try a different tactic.

My weekend was awesome. I love rainy days and March Madness and a husband who likes to look at shoes. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about this modern world or pop culture or what irks nineteen-year old boys, but I do know what I like (emphasis on the I).

And maybe I just now understood what it is I want to write.

Boy, this is gonna be selfish. Brace yourself.

I did not incur a massive student loan debt to please other people. Crazy, but true. I knew exactly what I was doing. I started out seeking a degree in elementary education when I mentioned to my husband about one semester in, "You know, I really don't want to do this psycho-questioning-how-a-state-thinks-you-ought-to-teach madness for four years."

"So do what you love," the man of the house answered back.

"I love to teach."  "So what do you love to teach?"  "History."  "So teach history."

I listened. I prayed. End of my life-changing discussion.

Off toward a history degree I went. That diploma now hangs on my wall. A job (in that field) is yet to be found.

How can that be?

How can I have such a burning desire to teach history, to talk about history, to do anything that has to do with history, and still be sitting here bemoaning the fact that as of right now, that diploma is absolutely useless to me?

Well, unless you count the fact that it was a MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT...

Anyway.

I am frustrated.

But I'm still proud.

I have mentioned before (on this blog) that graduating college is on my list of  25 Things To Do Before I Die. Apparently I should have added a number twenty-six: Gain employment that actually uses said degree.

I'm somewhat sorry you've been subjected to this ramble, especially if you were looking for something uplifting or comical. You might want to check out some of the other blogs listed on my page for content a little less me-related.

Lord, can I move back home yet? Just take me back ten years and let's go at this thing from another angle.

Seriously.

I am so not getting this plan of Yours.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.*

And there He goes again, reminding me of whose life this is anyhow.

Not mine. All His. Wait I will. I love when it He talks me out of my whining.

(Just please don't let Kansas make it to the Final Four. Please?)

And Amen.

*Isaiah 55:8-9

Troubled Times

Now my soul is troubled, and distressed, and what shall I say? John 12:27

I went to bed troubled and I woke up troubled. The morning news has left me more troubled. Earthquakes, tsunami warnings, and an idiot terrorist threat at our local airport is just plain craziness.

And there will be signs in the sun and moon and stars; and upon the earth

 there will be distress (trouble and anguish) of nations

 in bewilderment and perplexity at the roaring of the sea.

Men swooning away or expiring with fear and dread and apprehension and expectation of the things that are coming of the world; for the very powers of the heavens will be shaken and caused to totter.

And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud

 with great power and glory.

Now when these things begin to occur, look up and lift up your heads,

 because your redemption (deliverance) is drawing near.

 Luke 21: 25-28

I was going to stop with verse twenty-five, but it was so good I had to go on. I know not everybody thinks the same way I do. I've had comments before that the writing is good, but the religion part could be left out. If I left that part out, however, I would have nothing to write about.

Most of the time I have no clue what I am doing. The news can worry me, my kids can frustrate me, and my husband can completely rock my world when he casually mentions that a part of his family has invited themselves to our house for Easter dinner. (You did catch the invited themselves part, right?)

The same family that we haven't seen for over a year. At least part of that family. The other part, the part that completely ignores us and pretends that we don't exist, are probably just gonna kick back and see how the whole thing plays out.

And when did I say I was cooking Easter dinner?

So you see, sometimes my troubles can begin from my own selfish dislikes and general feelings of I don't want to do this. The only good thing I can say is I knew this day was coming. I had already asked the Lord to guard my mouth when the subject came up and I gotta say, my mouth stayed shut. Miracle! Of course, that very fact has got that wonderful husband of mine very suspicious. My strange silence on the idea of his crazy family coming to dinner has probably got him thinking I'm moody and mad and who knows what else.

Well, technically... he's right on all accounts, but at least I haven't said anything. Baby steps.

Oh, Lord, save me from myself.

And be with those in Japan and Hawaii and the rest of the west coast.

And the idiot thinking he was gonna blow up something at the airport or plane or whatever that was?? Well, I'm thinking he just needs a good, swift kick in the pants, but you know best.

That's why you're YOU and I'm me.

Blessed be the Lord,

 Who bears our burdens and carries us day by day.

 Psalm 68:19