Banging on a glass door when it's dark outside and then (twice) not answering to "Who's there?" (when the windows are open so we know you can hear) is probably not the smartest thing you've done today. I mean, and this is just a FYI, only about two inches of wood and the aforementioned pane of glass separated you and what could have potentially been a very bad ending to an otherwise pleasant night. You see, that's why we have a well-lit porch and a working doorbell and a helpful peephole-thingy that let's us see someone standing directly in front of it (off to the side doesn't count). I know you're just doing your job. This is nothing against you. I love your brown truck and your brown shorts and the awesome stuff you deliver. I don't even mind when you block my driveway so you can ask me for directions on our very messed up street. I get it.
It was late tonight, though. I'm betting you were in a hurry and probably had your wife or girlfriend or mother calling you nonstop telling you dinner was on the table (I get a little impatient myself when the family is slow to gather at the table). I'm sure you didn't realize how LOUD a fist knocking on glass repeatedly might be or how unsettling it was when no one responded. Heck, you probably haven't even had the time to watch the news about home invasions or recent robberies or what was discovered floating in the river (okay... slight exaggeration on my part). You're a busy man. Anyway, the package you delivered was just what I had been waiting for all day. If my heart hadn't been pounding out of my chest watching my husband prepare to defend our home, I probably would have given you a big smile.
As Caroline Ingalls always said, "All's well that ends well."
I'll make sure to bake you an extra batch of cookies for Christmas.
And give you some doorbell-ringing lessons as an added bonus.
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