I Miss My Grandma

With yesterday being the birthday of the youngest, I spent a somewhat sappy afternoon watching home movies dating back to 1998. I don't know that the kids were all that into my spontaneous trip down memory lane, but it continued well into the night with the only break being a birthday supper at Cracker Barrel and a lengthy walk through Walmart. The clock was approaching the eleven o'clock hour when I began to pick up clues from the husband that it was time to call it a night. We went to bed, but the memories didn't stop as we both talked about how much our family has grown.

We were young, skinny, and looked good back then,
the husband remarked. What happened?

What happened? I joked. Those kids were what happened.

Good point, he said before he went to sleep.

While he softly (?) snored, I thought about what really bothered me regarding all those videos. It wasn't so much the passing of time... watching all that was a good reminder of how tired I always was with three kids ages five and under. And sure, I was a lot thinner then, but personally I think I look more healthy now with a little extra padding to the face and other places (hey, don't deny me that lie). I'll tell you, what bothered me the most was that nearly not enough camera time was given to a little old lady who made brief appearances every now and then, and I was almost always the one behind the camera.

Forget the baby! I kept screaming in my head yesterday.
Focus on Grandma.

Enough of the baby crawling already, I would think.
Isn't that Grandma on the couch?

You see, I didn't realize then what I know all too well now, and that realization forced to me acknowledge a cold, hard truth that has stayed hidden within the rusty files of my mind for almost five years now. It seems so silly to say it out loud because we all understand the cycle of life, but say it I must:

I really didn't think she would ever die.