Embarrassment

Embarrassment. Noun. A feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

Often times I will look up definitions of a word to see if that is really the word that I want to use. Years ago I had the privilege of sharing adjoining classrooms with a lady whom I respectfully referred to as my human dictionary (and she knows who she is). Anytime I wasn't sure how to pronounce a word or had a question to the meaning of a word, she was my go-to-girl (first grade teachers are awesome like that). At any rate, in the wee hours of this Wednesday morning, I was in bed staring at a ceiling and thinking about the word embarrassment.

And now here I am. No sense lying in bed when a person can be up writing.

Yesterday I unwittingly found myself caught up in the midst of something that reminded me of an audition for a high school (no, middle school) drama class. I ended up embarrassed, fighting back tears (which didn't work, by the way), and wanting to fall into the proverbial hole in the ground. Escaping to the place that all grown women know to escape to, I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink and took one backward glance at the mirror on my way out the door.

And there it was. A long, piece of toilet paper stuck to my pants.

Why am I telling you this? To make you laugh, I guess. It certainly made me laugh. All I could think was that on top of everything else that had just happened, that would have topped it all. My mind flashed back to a moment in junior high when that very same thing occurred and, unfortunately, I didn't know about it until some merciful girl caved to pity and pulled me aside in the hallway. As I stood yesterday in the bathroom with just me, the Lord, and my reflection in the mirror revealing that tag-along-paper, I thought about the girl I was all those years ago and the woman I am now.

I was unsure of a lot of things then. I'm unsure of a lot of things now.
But at least I've got the good sense to check the mirror before I walk out the door.

May you have that good sense as well. =)