Superman

I spent the better part of the morning at a middle school Veteran's Day event which always gets me thinking back to one of the many memorable events in my life. Some of my family and friends have probably heard this story more than once; some have not heard it at all. It bears repeating many times over. It's about my dad.

Once upon a time there was a twenty-one year old girl who had made up her mind to go into the Air Force. Bags had been packed and papers had been signed. All that was left was to board a train bound for a St. Louis airport.

Well, that girl was me and let me tell you, I thought I had it all figured out. I knew I was doing the right thing, I had my family's support, and I was just ready to escape a small town that I thought was holding me back. Granted, this is the same small town that I long for now, but that's another story for another day.

At any rate, my mom and dad along with my best friend at the time drove me to the train station. I don't remember all the details... for instance, I'm sure my recruiter was there to ensure that I actually did board the train, but I don't remember seeing him there. I vaguely remember the hugs and tears that I'm sure took place. I kind of remember the parking lot. I have no idea what I was wearing.

What I do remember are the seats on the train. When I finally boarded, I found a spot and set my bag beside me. I checked and re-checked my ticket and just sat taking it all in. There were other people boarding although the train was by no means full. The seats were red velvet (or at least very soft fabric) and the arms rests were red vinyl. You get the picture. Now I'm sure I was not sitting there for as long as it seems, but very slowly I began to realize that this process of joining the military was actually being put into motion. I looked out the window to see my mom, dad, and friend all standing there. I knew my mom would not allow anyone to leave until that train left the depot.

That's when those doubting thoughts began to descend on me like a low, black cloud on a stormy day. What was I thinking? There was no way I was going to pull this off. Heck, I didn't even like to run (and still don't). Maybe Walmart wasn't such a bad job afterall. And, most importantly, it's not like I had actually taken the oath yet. No actual contract had been signed; I had only promised to show up to collect my train ticket. I looked out again at my family. Yep. This was one big mistake. And I was about to get out of it.

Now this part I remember just as clear as the day it happened. This is why I say I can remember those seats so well. I remember sitting there with a firm grip on the arm rests. My heart was pounding, my stomach felt sick, and my mind was reeling. There was no way I was staying on that train. I recall vividly taking a deep breath and placing all my pressure on those arm rests. I was about to come up out of that seat.

Then I looked out the window. There was my dad, watching his girl embark on something I knew he was proud of and yet at the same time probably scared to death of, but he just stood there smiling. I'm telling you, even sitting outside a Starbucks right now as I type this, I still choke up at the memory. That is how intense this moment of time was: in one swift motion, he gave me the thumbs up sign. Only God Himself could have inspired that because with that one seemingly simple gesture, I felt all fear leave me and myself relax. My immediate thought was that if my dad believed I could do it, well then... I could do it.

At other times when I have written about this, I've referred to my dad as Superman. This was my Superman moment. To have a man that you have so much respect for pack so much encouragement into something as trivial as putting a thumb up into the air... well, what else do you call it? Needless to say, I stayed put on that train. I went on to accomplish things that I would have never thought possible and even though my time in service was relatively brief, I have never looked back with regret. I will always remember that moment and I will always talk about it. It's just that important.

Of course, there's another side to that man in the form of my mom. Tucked away in a box is a ribbon-tied stack of polka-dotted envelopes full of all the words of prayer and encouragement that she wrote to me while I was away. God knew before I was born the team it would take to see me through. I'm so glad He chose them.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16