What Do You Mean It's Not About Me?

Last week I troubled by something, and that is putting it lightly. I was upset, mad, and just plain aggravated by a turn of events that caught me by surprise. Already unsettled by the path I have been on, this unexpected news threatened to cause me to make an illegal u-turn and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I am so glad I stayed put.

I prayed and grumbled and prayed some more. I lost sleep. I ran out of words long before I ran out of tears. Even last night in a dark and silent house I pondered how in the world I was going to come to terms with the way things were unfolding. I told no one outside the walls of our home. I guess I figured the best thing to do was to stay in one place and stay silent. Today that silence was broken.

Would it make sense to you to say that I was at peace even before I had peace? That sounds crazy enough, but I'm fairly certain someone out there gets it. The thought occurred to me sometime today in the hours before noon. I looked up from what I was doing and realized I was at peace. Even though I didn't quite understand the directions I got from my internal GPS, I just felt that it was right. For once in my life I didn't jump on the nearest exit and wait for it to recalculate.

When His timing was at hand, I was presented with a choice. I knew my decision at once and it was far from what I would have predicted a year ago or even six months ago. Strangely enough, I chose to wait (and if you've read this blog for any length of time, then you know better than me the amount of whining you have read pertaining to me waiting. I am so, so sorry). But seriously, I just knew that was the right choice and you know what? I think that is where the peace came from... peace in the waiting. Maybe it was my acceptance of the fact that He has been waiting on.

So anyway, your peace may have just disappeared based on the confusion from this evening's post, but rest assured. Good things happen for those who wait.

I'm counting on it.