Resurrecting A Dead Horse

Our conversation at dinner earlier tonight went something like this,

I know this ship has sailed and I know I said I would stop saying it, but I'm gonna say it out loud because I'm thinking it anyway and I just want to hear the words, breathlessly said I.

The husband looked at me, the all-knowing look in his eye. He held my hand, took a deep breath, and gave me the green light. Go ahead and say it.

I want to go home.

Now, if you're new to this little blog corner of the world, this might be a new story line for you. If you've been around since the beginning or even midway, it's a concept similar to beating the proverbial dead horse. Even so, the heart wants what the heart wants.

I miss my mom and dad and our little white house. I miss walking to the post office and hanging clothes on the line and cutting fresh lilacs from the bush out back. I miss my old school and my teaching friends and chapel every morning.

Oh, I've accepted the fact that we are where we are and unless it's the mighty hand of God that moves us, we're pretty much anchored where we're at. My dad used the expression often in the beginning, There's another nail in the coffin. I have my own version, There's another hole in the boat. I honestly don't know what keeps us here other than the sheer determination to make something good out of what seems to have been a not-so-good idea.

Well, that and those three kids of ours. I remember three or four years ago when we were seriously considering packing it all in when one of them said, We went through a big move once; please don't do that to us again (emphasis on the please). It's hard to argue with the logic of a child. Besides, I am reminded on a regular basis of a prayer that was prayed almost seven years ago when I stood in a circle of friends on the very last morning before I followed a moving truck south:

This move may have nothing to do with you or [the husband]; it may have everything to do with geographical location and placing your children where they need to be for what God has purposed for their lives...

... or something like that. And if one thing can be said, it is that those kids have thrived. I may not agree with or understand most things in life, but I cannot argue with that. In fact, we have said many times that if it were not for the kids, we would not have held out this long. I guess we figure that we brought 'em into this world,  the least we can do is give them a running start.

Besides, I don't think my old cat could take another move. The last one about did him in. It's no lie to say that he sees a pet carrier and hides. I think I've been traumatized... that's nothing compared to the stress my kitty endured.

And on that note, I'm officially out of anything inspiring to say (not that this was necessarily inspiring to begin with, I know) and I know that I know that I have been blessed with some great friends right where I am. That I would not change for the world. I do get homesick, though, and especially on a Saturday. Again, those who have been around know this. Those who haven't... well, welcome to my world.

I miss my mom.